Archive for April, 2009


"Dark Night" Turns into Light!

April 18, 2009

Had a “dark night of the soul” last night-fell asleep after dinner, and, when I awoke, was very bummed out about relationship breakups, career and financial failures, etc… Had that “I can’t win” feeling…

Went into meditation to find the purpose of it…

It started as a “rant meditation”, but then I focused on the breath a bit more, and just observed the “ranting voices”.

Felt a great letting go, and a great freedom from the feeling of not “trying to get anything” anymore…

I realized the purpose of this is to do what Jesus said to do:

“Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these will be added unto you.”

I.e., before I get into a relationship again, really pursue career advancement, etc., I must get my consciousness of my connection and oneness with Spirit really strong- stronger than my desire for these other things!

Today, in my interactions with others, I practiced letting go of wanting to “get something” (attention, affection, approval, etc.) from them, and dropped any expectations of how they should be…felt so much happier, lighter, more appreciative of others, and more open to and aware of Spirit!!!

That’s it! My priority is set! I will practice to develop a super-strong spiritual connection before actively pursuing anything else!

Thank you, God, for the “dark night’ and its purpose of light!!!


Spirit is Both (and Neither!) Inside and Outside

April 16, 2009

I’ve been “practicing the Presence” for quite awhile now, and have been noticing an amazing thing:

When I connect with Spirit “inside”, I automatically feel Spirit “outside” (other people and things)! But now I see that a step higher in consciousness is to realize that there is no “inside” and “outside”- it’s ALL Spirit…so I can find Spirit EVERYWHERE!!


Seeing the Divine in EVERYONE!

April 14, 2009

Just as I awoke this morning, still somewhat in a partial dream state, I had this realization:

Often I pull back from people- think about calling or seeing someone, then decide not to, etc.- because I see something in them that I don’t want to connect with or be around: they talk about negative things, they have treated me rudely, etc. The feeling I have toward them is: I want to separate and withdraw from them, and I want them to stay away, because I don’t want to feel pain, be “brought down”, distracted from my purpose, etc.

Then I got the strong realization: just as I’ve connected with Spirit within me, I can connect and see / feel Spirit within them! I can interact with them, coming from my spiritual connection (with it “wide open” in my consciousness, via acknowledging and opening up to it completely), and thereby see their Divinity!

That way, I’m seeing them and interacting with them from their highest potential, their highest Self, and bringing That out in the interaction, letting any negativity of any kind cease to be by not giving it any energy!

I’m seeing people much differently now!!!


I Open Up to Joy and Creativity at All Times!

April 7, 2009

Started my day noticing there was a frequent lack of joy in me. Went into my meditation/communing/visioning practice today, with joy rather blocked by some recent events, and the realization that I hadn’t gotten much creative work done, and still had a lot of “mundane” stuff to do…

I went into the contemplation/communing part of my practice, using the mantra, “Infinite Love, Infinite Joy”, and then, just “Infinite Joy”. I noticed a feeling of a block to this joy, and let it go. Divine Joy streamed into me, like a light, and filled my entire self!

Then I had a realization: this block to joy I experienced inside is the same block that has often kept me from fully engaging in my creativity, the very reason my creative projects have taken so long to complete! It’s also what has held me back from fully engaging in life in general- in joyous living, and in joyous care of my body, pad, car, and relationships!!!

This does not require verbal analysis of what this block may be- it only requires letting go of it, and my meditation/visioning session today has demonstrated!

I feel that I have found the key to truly joyous, “full-tilt” living! I intend to let go of this block to joy whenever (if ever) it appears again, and live a renewed, revitalized, joyous life!!!